Old Dun Cow

Some friends and I in a public house were playing dominoes one night when all of a sudden in the potman ran his face was all a'fright What's up Brown? Have you seen a ghost? Have you seen your aunt Mariah? Well me aunt Mariah be buggered says he The bleedin pub's on fire!

On fire, says Brown, what a bit o luck come along with me shouts he for down in the cellar if the fire ain't there we'll have a rare old spree So we all went down with good old Brown for that booze we could not miss and we hadn't been 10 minutes there 'till we were all like this:

Chorus: There was Brown, upside down moppin' up the whiskey off the floor Booze! Booze! the fireman cried as they came knockin' at the door Well, don't let 'em in until it's all mopped up Someone shouted MacIntyre! (MacINTYRE!) And we all got blue-blind-paralytic drunk when the old dun cow caught fire

Old Johnson flew to the port wine tub and he gave it just a few hard knocks he then starts taking off his pantaloons likewise his boots and socks Hold hard said Snooks, if you want to wash your feet There's a barrel full of four ale here Don't go putting your trotters in the port wine Jack when we've got some old stale beer

[chorus]

All of a sudden came an awful crash half the bloody roof gave way we got drowned by a fireman's hose but still we were all gay for we found some sacks and some old tin tacks and we bunged ourselves inside and we got drinking that good ole Scotch till we were bleary eyed

[chorus]

Additional verses:

We got so drunk that we did not know the blooming cellar caught fire poor old Jones had the DTs bad and wanted to retire there's old Nick said another poor chap and he's poking up the bleeding fire that is no boogy, its a fireman, Tom at least said Macintyre

Let's get out, said a blind eye'd boy it's getting rather hot down here don't be a fool, said a boozy bloke we haven't drank the beer so we filled our hats and we drank like cats amidst the flames and smoke I had to take my trousers off for I thought that I should croak

at last the fireman got inside and found us all dead drunk but like all true heroes, there they stood they did not do a bunk they saw the booze upon the floor and gave a sudden yell they took their helmets off and then upon their knees they fell at last! at last! the firemen cried at last we know the news come on, come on, us lads all cried come on and have a booze