The Hippopotamus Song (by Flanders and Swann)

A bold hippopotamus was standing one day On the banks of the cool Shalimar. He gazed at the bottom as it peacefully lay By the light of the evening star. Alone on the hilltop sat combing her hair His fair hippopotamine maid. The hippopotamus was no ignoramus And sang her this sweet serenade:

Chorus: Mud, mud, glorious mud Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood So follow me follow, down to the hollow And there let me wallow in glorious mud

The fair hippopotama he aimed to entice From her seat on that hilltop above, As she hadn't got a ma to give her advice, Came tiptoeing down to her love. Like thunder the forest re-echoed the sound Of the song that they sang as they met. His inamorata adjusted her garter And lifted her voice in duet…

[Chorus]

Now more hippopotami began to convene On the banks of that river so wide. I wonder now what am I to say of the scene That ensued by the Shalimar side. They dived all at once with an ear-splitting sposh Then rose to the surface again – A regular army of hippopotami All singing this haunting refrain:

[Chorus]

(Extra verse:) The amorous hippopotamus whose love song we know Is now married and father of ten. He murmurs “God rot 'em” as he watches them grow, And he longs to be single again! He'll gambol no more on the banks of the Nile, Which Nasser is flooding next spring. With hippopotamas in silken pyjamas No more will he teach them to sing…

[Chorus]