The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything (by Mike Nawrocki)

Chorus: We're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything We just stay home and lie around And if you ask us to do anything We'll just tell you, we don't do anything

Well, I've never been Greenland and I've never been to Denver And I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul And I've never been to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa And I've never been to Boston in the fall

'Cause we're… [chorus]

And I never hoist the mainstay and I never swab the poop deck And I never veer to starboard 'cause I never sail at all And I've never walked the gang plank and I've never owned a parrot And I've never been to Boston in the fall

'Cause we're… [chorus]

Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping-pong And I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall And I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice And I've never been to Boston in the fall

[chorus]

And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a stink bug And I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball And I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings And I've never been to Boston in the fall